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old things

by esteban dorado-troughton

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1.
I dont think I wanna know what youre gonna tell me I dont think I wanna know what you wanna tell me I dont think I
2.
lamb man 01:11
I dont know if I believe in you everytime I look I just see right thru are you the man the myth or the leopard are you the lamb the sheep or the dead bird
3.
I can see you sat at the foot of my bed wondering if ever I will lay my head down and fall into a peaceful slumber eyes open wide I can see you wonder whatever are you writing for in this room with the locked door whatever are you writing for are you just trying to keep from being bored cut out that racket and go to sleep
4.
red light 01:02
we're both by red light illuminated and I cant think of anything for which I would trade it having you in the passenger seat feeling your eyes on me your hand reaching across the space to trace the smile on my face midnight drive
5.
side by 00:34
what goes on in your head as we walk side by side could you tell me all that keeps you up at night list for me all the things that you like about me about you about us
6.
do I 01:00
do I recall your visage justly was it not merely a glimpse a pinhole from which starlight ether leaks give me a cheap wooden frame stacked with books unread
7.
dont bother 01:01
dont bother writing I dont live there anymore please dont send me anything that is no longer my address I will say one thing I still dont love you any less I still dont love you any less but I wont give you my new address
8.
cancun 01:39
asleep on the beach hair sun bleached I'd be worry free if you were next to me but instead I sit on the crowded bus trying to not to think of us when a man climbs aboard tells us all what he's endured asks for even the smallest sum that we can spare for him and his infant son when he walks by with his palm extended I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep
9.
thunder coat 02:34
I really dont mind that you become a nervous wreck everytime that there is the slightest crack of thunder off in the distance you can stay here with me a little longer but dont worry the weather will get better but dont worry the weather will get better sat in the veterinarian's office pondering what coulda been I saw an advertisement in a pet magazine advertising a jacket for this situation but dont worry whether we'll get better dont worry whether we'll get better stay here with me we can get better together dont worry about the weather it will get better soon I hate watching you tremble at the slightest rumble but I can't look away you're my baby it has already past you can open your eyes now
10.
I spent the morning sinking into my shitty instant coffee wondering if you'd ever call me back I spent the morning thinking "how could you want me" and how much easier all of this would be if I didn't want you so fucking bad do you really feel this way or is it just because the words fit so nicely on the page
11.
meaning 01:17
when I can't sleep I try my best to string a bunch of words together and later decide whether they're any good or maybe I should just crumple up the page and throw em all out baby try and be clever sing to me about the weather write me a love letter and I can attribute alternate interpretations that weren't anything close to what you had in mind when you wrote down the words and affixed postage to the envelope
12.
are you 00:58
are you the morning light filtered between the branches of the tree outside your home are you the prairie night or just that emptiness that fills you when you find yourself alone are you my fear of heights funnelled into the narrow veins of a ringing telephone how long did you wait on the sacrificial altar waiting for the knife above you to plunge deep inside you

about

a collection of old demos recorded almost exclusively on a phone in various exotic locales such as basements, living rooms, storage closets, and automobiles - neatly listed in chronological order

download the album for a KILLER chilli recipe, courtesy of my darling mother

credits

released July 6, 2016

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esteban dorado-troughton Blackstock, Ontario

with dogs

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